Center for Workplace Happiness

Do you know someone who is very judgmental?

Maybe they voice unflattering opinions about women who carry expensive handbags or people who drive a large vehicle or the neighbors who have a car that doesn’t move very often? They have an opinion about everyone and it’s most often not a very nice one?

When someone behaves like that, it’s about them, not about the person they’re judging. It gives you a glimpse into their early life and what they were taught, either intentionally or unintentionally. It’s likely they don’t even know they’re making snap judgments about people – it’s become their default behavior.

If it’s someone you deal with on a daily basis, like a team member or family member, you can help them see themselves as others do, and help them make a change for the better. When they say something like, “Her purse probably cost as much as my house payment…she thinks she’s so special!” you can...

Have you ever felt completely and totally misunderstood? Isn’t that the worst feeling? And it doesn’t matter how much you try to explain yourself, the other person is adamant that their interpretation of you and your motives is right and that you’re not a very nice person.

Ouch!

Please listen to this…think about this…analyze this…and then internalize this: what other people think of you is none of your business.

When they draw an incorrect conclusion about you, nothing you can say will sway them because they’re hearing your words through the same distortions that created their misunderstanding of you in the first place.

How they feel about you is NOT your responsibility.

They’ll either see the truth as they continue to interface with you and re-evaluate their knee-jerk response or they’ll continue to be clueless about the wonderful person you are. You just go on being that wonderful person. It’s not your job to fix...

Maybe you've had someone go off for no apparent reason on you, too?

The other day I was driving on the interstate. A motorcyclist went by, going about 90 miles an hour. About 10 minutes later, the motorcyclist was in the lane in front of me, stuck in stand-still traffic.

It was a hot, sunny southern day, the motorcyclist was in full leather gear and sitting on a hot engine, going nowhere and without the air conditioning the rest of us were enjoying. As we rolled forward about 5 feet at a time, suddenly this person started waving their arms, flipping me off and yelling. My guess is that they thought I was too close but what I know for sure is that their behavior was about them, not about be. Hot and frustrated at not being able to fly down the road, it was easy to take their frustration out on me. I gave an exaggerated shrug, hoping to signal that I didn’t mean to do whatever they thought I did but it didn’t stop the bad behavior. Taking a video of them behaving like a...

Are you feeling a little bit stuck in your life? Like you’re OK with where you are but you thought you’d be farther along by now?

Where do you want to be? What do you want to have?

When we were in school, our paths were mapped out for us – progression through classes and grades to earn graduation, so we could progress through more classes and years to graduation again. After school years, it’s easy to forget to create our own framework so we can chart the course to our next “graduation” – whatever that may be, and it’s different for everyone.

Go back and answer those two questions - where do you want to be and what do you want to have. Spend some time on that, just as you did when you chose your preferred school and your profession.

Think about your next “graduation” – what will it look like? What will you have to learn and do in order to “graduate” this time? Now, take a few minutes today to lay out the...

Did someone hurt you, disrespect you or otherwise do you wrong? That’s on them.

Do you carry a grudge, tell the story of their bad behavior, or relive that story inside your head over and over?

That’s on you.

As long as you interact with other human beings, someone or something is bound to bruise your feelings, make you mad or break your heart. Stuff happens. What you do with that stuff, and whether or not you choose to heal the hurt and move on, is completely up to you.

Wallowing in the story, in the hurt and in the betrayal is pain you are choosing to inflict on yourself. Make a choice that allows you to move on and heal. When the story starts to play inside your head or come out of your mouth, remind yourself that you already felt that pain once – there’s literally no need for you to feel it again.

Then square up your shoulders, put a smile on your face and move into a new, healthier chapter of your life.

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What are you working for?
What are you dreaming of?
Are you working for a better tomorrow, and dreaming of someday?

That’s very human – as a matter of fact, brain imaging shows that inside most peoples’ heads, there’s a lot of activity when they’re thinking about their goals, hopes and dreams. The brain imaging doesn’t tell the whole story, though – chemically, when thinking of goals, hopes and dreams, many people are feeling stress, not happiness.

When researchers look at people who are focused on the people, animals, plants, and events around them, chemically many of them are in a state of satisfaction and happiness.

How would you rather feel?

Sure, it’s great to have goals, hopes and dreams. It’s better to focus on the steps on the path to those goals – stay present and focused on right now and let your head and your heart guide you on a satisfying path to those goals, one step at a time.

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Is there someone in your life that you’re trying to make happy? I don’t mean someone you do nice things for because it makes you feel good, I mean someone who is in some sort of relationship with you, doesn’t seem entirely satisfied with that relationship, and you find yourself making decisions based on how you think it will make them feel?

Take a moment and think about this – as powerful and as wonderful as you are, you do not have the power to make someone happy.

You can give them a raise if they’re your employee, you can change the way you wear your hair if they’re your life partner, you can make all the external changes they seem to want from you and guess what – they will only be happy when they choose to be happy. What they’re choosing instead is to be unhappy and blame you for it.

That’s a losing situation for you – you can never win. It’s time to decide what would make you happy in that relationship and go do...

Do you have to deal with someone who’s difficult? Maybe angry, defensive, egotistical, greedy – whatever they are, they just suck the life out of you?

Instead of dreading your interactions with them, try this – feel compassion for them.

Can you imagine going through life knowing that people don’t like you very much? And believe me, they know! Think of them as kind of broken, because in a way they are.

When you can feel for them instead of against them it helps you feel better. And maybe the interactions with them will go better, too!

I’m Sandy Weaver and just like Kacey, I love veterinarians!

Self-confidence is something a lot of people struggle with – you, too, sometimes?

We are usually much harder on ourselves than on the people in our lives. That’s a habit developed in childhood and it doesn’t serve us well at all – listening to all that negative self-talk in your head guts your self-confidence.

Try this to build yourself back up – once a day, focus on something that you did really well that day or the day before and feel the pride of a task well-done.

If you journal, make this part of your journaling routine. If you practice regular affirmations or meditation, make it part of that time. Focus on success and feel your self-confidence soar.

I’m Sandy Weaver and just like Kacey, I love veterinarians!

Do you sometimes feel like, no matter what you do, that you’re not making a very big difference in the world? Trust me, you’re wrong about that – here’s what’s really going on.

Our strengths and talents feel very natural and organic to us, so we take them for granted. It’s easy for me to distill brain research into concepts most people can easily grasp, and it’s easy for you to visit with a patient and feel the things that could be wrong with them even though they can’t speak words to you.

You make a difference for your patients, for their owners, for your team, for your family and friends and everyone you touch in life.

You matter, because no one else can do what you do with the heart and soul you pour into doing it.

I’m Sandy Weaver and just like Kacey, I love veterinarians!