Wagaliciousness Begins Here!

Do you know someone who harms themselves? Maybe a friend or co-worker has an eating disorder or cuts themselves or cuts themselves down all the time.

People who do harm to themselves are in need of professional help, and you can help them get it. When your friend or co-worker expresses their problem – the anorexic skips lunch and has black coffee when you go out to lunch, or the cutter accidently flashes their scars, or the person who’s always down on themselves starts talking about how worthless they are, one phrase can sweetly get their attention: “I wish you loved yourself as much as I love you.”

If the word love feels too strong for you, substitute “cared about” instead. It won’t cure their problem, and it could open an opportunity for a direct, deep conversation. Keep it in the caring space, not the condemning space. Listen more, talk less, and  when they see that someone cares, it may make them get help.

Want more? Click here for a free audio course, "Happiness is an Inside Jo...

Are you a confident person? Just what is confidence, anyway?

Confidence is a feeling or belief that you can do something well or succeed at something, according to Merriam-Webster. Confidence tends to grow with age, because we gain more perspective about whether we can do something well and about whether it’s even ours to fix or not!

When you trust your ability to learn new things, you gain confidence. When you practice something, you gain confidence. Being confident doesn’t mean walking around with your chest stuck out, feeling better than others. Being confident means you are the quiet master of your day, no matter what it throws at you.

So, the question is, are you a confident person? If so, yay. If not, now you know the pathway to becoming more confident.

Want more? Click here for a free audio course, "Happiness is an Inside Job"
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Have you ever heard the phrase “it takes two to tango?” Well, it takes two to argue, as well.

When you find yourself having to deal with an angry client, give them plenty of time to vent. Let them pour out their irritation until they have nothing else to say. When they’re quiet, maybe even take a breath before you start to reply. Then speak in a quiet, even, as-gentle-as-you-can-manage tone of voice.

Even if they’re the biggest south end of a northbound mule, respond the way YOU want to behave, not the way they want or expect you to behave.

It takes two people to argue – when you chose not to be one of them, then an argument can’t happen.

Want more? Click here for a free audio course, "Happiness is an Inside Job"
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It’s the Tuesday after the first Monday in November, which means it’s Election Day in the United States. Did you ever wonder about how the whole “Tuesday after the first Monday” thing happened? Yes? Here you go…

In 1792, each state was allowed to set its own election Tuesday, so long as it happened between early November and the first Wednesday in December. The time frame was chosen because the harvest season had ended, and bad winter travel conditions hadn’t started yet. The day of the week was chosen to allow citizens to attend church on Sunday, travel to their polling place, which was usually their county seat, on Monday, vote on Tuesday and sell their produce and products at the Wednesday market.

When the telegraph was invented, tested, and rolled out as a way of instant communication across vast distances, Congress set a uniform election date so that word of who won which state wouldn’t sway elections in other states that hadn’t held theirs yet. And so, beginning in 1845, the Tu...

Prepare yourself – good things will happen to you today. Seriously – prepare yourself for the good things that will happen so you can enjoy them when they do. Some of those good things might be seeing a little child delight in skipping beside her mom, holding hands. Maybe it will be seeing two birds doing an air dance together. It could be as simple as how the light plays in the leaves. Or it could be a piece of serendipity that you rendezvous with. 

I met a woman as I was walking my dogs and she was walking hers. One of her dogs looked familiar, and when she told me where she adopted him from I remembered – he was an owner turn-in that I evaluated and groomed for the county animal control so he would be more appealing to someone looking for a fun, happy companion. To see the love on that woman’s face and how well-cared-for he was brought tears to my eyes.

Heck, it just did again!

Wonderful things like that – things you could never expect or predict – happen to you, too. Prepare you...

Do you feel like you’re not strong enough? Like everyone else sails through their day untouched and the stumbling blocks litter your path? 

I remember feeling totally lost when I was downsized from a job. It was beyond sad – I felt like it was an indictment of my abilities, my talents and my very beingness. There were others downsized at the same time and it seemed to me that they were all handling it better than I was.

A dear friend reminded me that when a storm blows through, there are lots of survivors. Sure, a few trees break – most stand, as so most of the bushes and the grass.

You’re a living being, one unlike any other living being on this planet. When a storm blows through your life, remind yourself to appreciate your unique version of “strong.” You have handled everything life has thrown at you so far, and you’ll continue to handle everything. And the storms will give you confidence in your own strength, if you let them.

Want more? Click here for a free audio course, "Happ...

A million years ago I broke up with a guy. He wasn’t right for me, and even in my teenagerness, somehow I knew I deserved better. It was hard – I tried to be kind and he wasn’t receptive, so when I had said all I could say and turned to leave, he kicked me in the butt.

Seriously!

At the time it felt like it was about me – I must be a really terrible person if I made someone want to kick me as I was leaving. Have you ever questioned yourself like that?

I know now how ridiculous it was for me to feel responsible – maybe at some point in your life, someone has made you feel responsible for things that weren’t about you, too?

Walking away from what isn’t right for you can be hard, and it is absolutely the right thing for you to do. How others receive you is up to them, and how they react to you when you are taking steps to take care of yourself, will validate your decision to stand up for yourself.

Focus on that, chin up and move on.

Want more? Click here for a free audio course, "Ha...

Did you make a mistake yesterday? Welcome to the human race – we all do.

Maybe yours was a bigger-than-average mistake – how did you feel? Did the voice inside your head chime in with their opinion? And if you’re thinking, “I don’t have a voice inside my head,” that’s the voice inside your head saying that!

No one will talk to you as much in your life as that voice inside your head talks to you. Most of the time, we listen without questioning. I want you to question. When the voice inside your head says things to you that you would NEVER say to someone else, challenge that. Why are you allowing the voice inside your head to be rude, mean or even nasty to you?

When the voice inside your head starts that same old negativity, hold up your mental stop sign. Change the subject. Recite a poem. Sing a song. Do whatever it takes to put a sock in that voice inside your head so it can't keep undermining your happiness and success!

Stop allowing the voice inside your head to talk to you in wa...

Have you heard the old saying, “Silence is golden?” There’s sooooo much truth to that.

When someone says something that makes you feel defensive, be silent.
When someone is rude to you, be silent.
When someone is argumentative, be silent.

If it’s tough not to open your mouth, think now of something you can say, over and over inside your head, to keep you from reacting. I like to remind myself “it’s about them, not about me.”

When someone makes me feel defensive, it’s about them, not about me.
When someone is rude, it’s about them, not about me.
When someone is argumentative, it’s about them, not about me.

That’s true in your life, too. It’s about them, not about you. You don’t have to respond when people are disrespectful to you or of you. It’s about them, not about you. There is so much power in that knowledge!

Want more? Click here for a free audio course, "Happiness is an Inside Job"

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Do you believe that everyone you meet can teach you something? I love going through my day wondering who I’ll meet and what I’ll learn. Sure, it sounds nerdy and weird to some people – leaving myself open to learning from others means that I’m paying attention to the people around me.

I spent about an hour giving blood one day recently and the man who was vampiring my arm was so much fun to play with! He was retired Navy and the two of us ended up laughing so hard swapping stories that I thought we’d be thrown out. From Fleetwood, I learned about what it's like to live on a boat for months on end, how a fascination with Japan led to a lifelong love of Akitas, and where the best Japanese food is near my home. Yum!

When you pay attention to the people around you, sometimes it turns out great, and sometimes it reminds you how you don’t want to show up in the world. And when someone you care about exits your life, remind yourself that sometimes people show up in your life to help you lea...