Do You Follow or Do You Flaunt?
Are you a rule-follower or a rule-flaunter? Most of us are firmly in the “it depends” category. Most rules we follow, some of them to the letter, and some we think don’t even apply to us or shouldn’t be rules at all. So why are there rules and why do we follow them?
A pair of researchers, Sven Steinmo and Celine Colombo, set about to understand why people follow rules, why the impulse or need to have and follow rules exists, and how well it’s working for humanity. They found that norms of trust and cooperation need to be an intrinsic part of members of society in order for that society to thrive and prosper. You don’t have to look very far to see where rules came from – religions, races, and governments have been the impetus for complex sets of rules intended to govern and control the behavior of the people in their sphere of influence.
Why do people choose to be part of something that seeks to control their behavior, even to the point of how many children they can or should have? Colombo and Steinmo postulate that humans follow a Reasonable Choice Approach to following or not following rules, taking into account long- and short-term goals and needs, social motivations, and their own self-interest.
Most of the rules we follow were taught to us as children, and most of them serve us well. For instance:
- Brush and floss
- Please and thank you
- Obey the rules of the road
Some of the rules might feel a bit intrusive:
- Only plant white flowers in the front yard of your home – colored flowers are gauche
- No swimming for half an hour after eating
- No dessert until you’ve eaten all your vegetables
While rules exist in an attempt to protect individuals as well as entities (businesses, religions, governments) many times the person interpreting and trying to enforce a rule is way out of line. What to do when that happens? Let the world’s second-shortest podcast help you with that. Here are three 90-second episodes, each dealing with your relationship to rules:
- Need a reminder of who’s the boss of you? Here’s a Tiny Bite for that!
- Want to recognize bad advice when it’s hurled at you? Here’s a Tiny Bite for that!
- Need help remembering to disregard others’ opinions of you? Here’s a Tiny Bite for that!
Which rules do you follow, and which ones rub you the wrong way? I’ll be honest – there was a time in my life where I was one point away from losing my driver’s license because of speeding tickets, and I still have a lead foot. Am I proud of it – no.
Has anything changed my desire to drive fast? No.
How about you – are there rules that you choose to fly in the face of, or maybe just ease on around from time to time? It’s OK – that’s just you, exercising the Reasonable Choice Approach to making decisions about rules in your life. Use your RCA wisely and enjoy exercising your freedom from the rules now and then.
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