Center for Workplace Happiness

Have you ever counseled a friend and said something like, “you’re looking for love in all the wrong places?” Heck, there’s even at least one old country song with that title!

Brain science is clear – humans gravitate to the familiar, even when it’s bad for them. This is as true of relationships as it is with food, tobacco and alcohol.

One of the main ways most humans create their own stress is by looking to others for appreciation, acknowledgement and love. Maybe you know someone who is completely driven by the need for recognition – it gets exhausting, doesn’t it? Sometimes they’re sulky for no apparent reason, and it’s because they need to feel loved and appreciated and don’t.

Love, appreciation, acknowledgement, and recognition feels good and here’s the secret – it feels real when it comes from us first. When you love and appreciate yourself, you don’t need it from others.

And when you’re...

Possibly the most potent word in any language is “possibility.”

The possibility of something is where innovation happens. The possibility of improvement is where change happens. The king of harnessing the power of possibilities was inventor Thomas Edison, who said “When you’ve exhausted all possibilities, remember this – you haven’t.”

If something is feeling impossible to you today, shift your focus to something else. Dwelling on something that feels impossible usually makes it feel less possible, not more possible.

Borrow my mental game – when I don’t know how to do something I give it to the committee in the back of my head. By that I mean I hand off the need to think about it until a good idea occurs to me. When it does, I give the credit to the committee in the back of my head and celebrate their brilliance.

Behold the possibilities of possibility!

Want more? Click here for a free audio course, "Happiness is an...

Were you taught to say “please” and “thank you” when you were a child? In my family those words were called magical, and what we wanted didn’t happen without a “please” attached to it, so they did feel kind of magical.

And “thank you” has a hidden, even more magical power.

Most of us remember – at lease some of the time – to thank those who do things for us. When we thank them we make that other person feel good, which makes them more likely to do nice things in the future. That’s a powerful way to impact the world, and yet there’s another power that “thank you” has – it’s a polite way to ignore unsolicited advice.

People give advice because they want to help you, yet often the advice is unwelcome, unwanted and unuseful. (is that even a word?) Instead of arguing with or ignoring the person who’s trying to help you, say “thank you.” Nothing else – just...

Happy Giving Tuesday! You will probably be hit up a lot today, if you haven’t been already, by people asking for money for a good cause. Donating money to worthy causes is part of the Giving Tuesday mission and is a long way from all of it.

Today is the 10th Giving Tuesday, so it’s still pretty new. Non-profits were quick to catch on and tie donation requests to the concept, so if that’s all you know about Giving Tuesday, can I share more? Giving Tuesday isn’t just about today and money, it’s about reminding you that every day can be Giving Tuesday, and any kind of giving is perfectly appropriate.

• Random Monday in March, and you complimented someone on their smile? Happy Giving Tuesday!
• Kind of a blah Thursday in May, and you helped an elderly neighbor carry their groceries into the house? Happy Giving Tuesday!
• Sweltering Saturday morning in July and you donated blood? Happy Giving Tuesday!

Giving Tuesday was designed for all these kinds of giving,...

There are a lot of cliches about laughter:

• Laughter is the best medicine.
• Laugh until you cry.
• Laugh all the way to the bank.
• He who laughs last laughs loudest.
• I’ll be having the last laugh.
• I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing with you.

There is no doubt that laughter is good for you, body and soul. Laughing releases your body’s feel-good chemicals, lowering your blood pressure and easing stress. Laughing with a group of people creates a release of oxytocin, the hormone closely related to feelings of connectedness, community and caring. Laughter therapy has even been incorporated into chemotherapy regimens, which seems to help cancer patients handle the chemo better and has been associated in some research studies with better long-term survival rates.

There’s a ton of evidence that laughter is good for you, so making ways to intentionally add more levity into your day is a great idea. The bad news about laughter is that, no matter how hard you try,...

Are you someone who finds yourself in arguments more than a couple of times a week? Or maybe you live with or work with someone who likes to argue?

What’s the argument really about?

Arguments are almost never about what they seem to be about – it’s not whether or not the trash is staying in the kitchen too long or the pants are hanging on the hanger wrong or the copier paper trays were all left empty…again!

People who argue a lot do it because they want recognition and validation, and if they have to argue to get it, so be it.

In a supportive environment, that recognition and validation will happen naturally – that’s how great teams operate. In an environment that might be lacking empathy and understanding between team members, arguments are the natural outgrowth. People want to find a solution that will solve a problem, once and for all. In a supportive environment, they work together to solve it. Otherwise, they argue and nothing gets solved.

...

When did that phrase “use your words” become popular? Best guess is sometime in the late 1980’s or early 90’s when it started showing up in parenting books, television shows and comedian’s stand-up routines.

While it’s an odd way to phrase it, “use your words” is great advice.

We all think people understand us way more than they do. Even those closest to us don’t know what’s really going on inside our heads and our hearts. So – when you’re feeling frustrated, say so. When you’re feeling elated, say so. Sad? Share with someone close to you how you’re feeling. Angry? Don’t make people guess why – say what you need to say. Feel like you were wrong? Apologize. Out loud. To the person who needs to hear it.

Our ability with language sets us apart from most of the other mammals on the planet. Our inability to use it when emotions are strong is the cause of almost all the misunderstandings in our...

Are you facing a problem right now? Does it feel big, like something you’re not sure you can handle? Usually I tell you to let go of the past, but at times like this it can be good to embrace the past.

Specially selected pieces of the past, though.

Grab a pen and paper and give yourself a few minutes to think of times in the past when you faced a big problem. Don’t concentrate on the problem, just jot it down. Jot down as many as you can think of in a few minutes, and then stop and look at your list. Look at your list, then notice your heartbeat. Look at your list, then notice the temperature of the air around you. Look at your list and appreciate the fact that you survived all the things on your list.

You’ve done it before and you will do it again.

Problems are part of life. Confidence is knowing you’ve been through problems before and you can and will get through this current one, too. Use this exercise whenever you feel like you have a too-big-to-handle...

A lot of people are in leadership positions they didn’t really seek out. I’ve been there once or twice – you, too?

Maybe you’re perceived as the leader because you’re in a decision-making position, even though you’re not technically the staff supervisor. That can be tough – you have all of the responsibilities with none of the authority, and yet the staff still looks to you for direction.

Even if you never wanted to be a leader, you need to act like one, and this one tip can help. Do your best to understand each person you work with.

• What lights their fire? Where did they grow up?
• Where are they in the birth order?
• Where are they where significant relationships are concerned?
• If money was no object, what would they do with their time?

Find out who they are at a heart level, not just a head level. When you reach for understanding you invite understanding, and when a team understands each other, they work well together.

Want more? Click...

Do you know anyone who’s trying to find themselves? Maybe you?

The feeling of being lost in your own life is disconcerting – it can feel like you’ve been set adrift in an ocean of unknown. The feeling of needing to find yourself often happens in the wake of a major life change, like the loss of a loved one or relationship, or a life milestone like graduation or marriage. Suddenly there’s a very new, different dynamic and it feels unfamiliar because it is unfamiliar.

The secret to finding yourself when you’re feeling lost is to realize your brain knows the old pattern and it will take a few days for it to get up to speed on your new life and new routines. Be kind and patient with yourself while your brain figures out the new pattern.

You won’t feel the need to find yourself anymore because you’re not truly lost. You’ve been there all along.

Want more? Click herefor a free audio course, "Happiness is an Inside Job"

#veterinarian...