Wagaliciousness Begins Here!

Today, let’s talk about hugs. Are you a hugger? I am. Whenever I feel a connection to someone my default is to want to hug them. Not everyone’s a hugger, though, so occasionally the hug impulse has to be squelched.

Why do humans hug? Have you ever wondered about that? Turns out, hugging is addictive behavior. Hugging is also crucial to infants, helping them survive, and hugging is one of the best ways to lower stress in your body.

Hugs feel good. Hugs are good. But how do they constitute “addictive behavior” in humans? Because the act of being in a hug, whether initiating or accepting it, releases dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin, which are the natural feel-good chemicals in our bodies. Physical touch, hugs included, triggers the release of endorphins, our bodies’ natural painkillers.

Turns out, we love hugging and being hugged because we love the way it makes us feel. We have an addiction to our own “happy drugs” and hugs satisfy the need to feel accepted, included, and loved. If ...

‘Tis the season that those of us in the northern hemisphere bundle up. And those of us with dogs, especially the small and relatively hairless ones, bundle their dogs up, too. If that’s you today, you have unwittingly celebrated today’s fun holiday – it’s Dress Up Your Pet Day.

I’m not ashamed to admit it – for most of my life I would have scoffed at this holiday, so if you’re rolling your eyes, it’s ok. I have had Siberian Huskies all my adult life, and they’re a breed that needs no bundling up in cold weather. Mother Nature literally designed them to be comfy in arctic conditions. I’ve never bought a coat or sweater for my dogs, and the only time any of them have worn booties is when they were loaned to a friend to run on his sled dog team for the winter. So no, I’m not someone who dresses up her dogs, except maybe at Halloween for a quick photo op.

That is, until I got my current Siberian, Kacey. It was during the pandemic lockdown that she moved from my friend Lisa’s house to min...

Last week a dear friend asked me a question, and I’m going to ask you the same one: do you make New Year’s resolutions?

My answer is no. I’ve been on this planet long enough to have experienced my pattern of good intentions and so-so results when trying to make life changes in the middle of winter, my least-favorite season. What’s your answer?

No matter which side you’re on, Team Resolution or Team Go With the Flow, you’re in good company. About half of Americans make resolutions at the changing of the year, and the rest of us don’t. For those who do, only about 10% will succeed at their stated goal, and the other 90% will tap out this week or next.

Yes, most people who make resolutions give themselves two weeks or less before throwing in the towel. Turns out, the idea of change is much more fun than the reality of instituting that change. When you understand how habits form and are reinforced inside your brain’s architecture, this wave of mass January failure makes perfect sense.

Oh, we human beings cherish endings and beginnings. From baby showers to funerals, housewarmings to homecomings, and of course to the hoopla around the changing of the year, the celebrations for the milestones in our lives show us just how important these events are.

But why?

Many of the traditions around endings and beginnings have been in place for hundreds of years, maybe even thousands of years, and in some cases far more than thousands of years. Around 100,000 years ago humans started intentionally burying their dead. In the century or so BCE, the Romans started celebrating birthdays, though usually only men’s birthdays and then only the big milestones, like 50 and 60 years. In the Renaissance period, families with wealth and nobility began celebrating birthdays amongst themselves. The concept of children’s birthday parties developed in Germany in the 1800’s and the brave new world of consumer products had a fresh itch to scratch. The origins of tonight’s changing-of-the-year fe...

Are you stuffed full of holidays like I am? In the span of six days, we’ve celebrated Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Cyber Monday and now Giving Tuesday. It’s been an expensive, exhausting six days for a lot of people!

As the calendar rolls around to the end of another year, this time between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Eve is filled with to-do’s – those you need to do, plus those that others need or want you to do. Especially when it comes to family gatherings, we put a lot of heavy expectations on ourselves. And the music doesn’t help, with holiday songs proclaiming that it’s the most wonderful time of the year, describing idyllic snow scenes, fireplaces, and true love, and of course we can’t forget the poignant longing in songs talking about missing loved ones at the holidays.

I’m not here to remind you of the extra stress you carry this time of year. Nope, as with every issue, this newsletter contains helpful information that’ll make it easier for you to shed the stress and have mor...

Day after tomorrow is Thanksgiving, traditionally the eating-est holiday in America. Attendance at family gatherings is expected, and woe be unto the newly married couple with parents, step-parents, grandparents and step-grandparents who all expect them to show up hungry to multiple, separate, family feasts. 

Thanksgiving is an emotional stick of dynamite. Wait – maybe “roller coaster” is the better analogy, because at least there are high spots to go with the predictable blow-ups. What could go wrong when people who are related to each other and who maybe don’t see each other all that often gather to share a meal?  

The host and family have been cleaning and cooking for days and are exhausted 

The guests arrive, most bringing what they were asked to bring and a few bringing what they wanted to bring, whether or not it was needed or wanted 

This cousin gets on the nerves of that cousin and loud spats ensue 

This uncle and that grandma have opposite opinions on (nearly everything –...

Do you have a dog? Maybe more than “a” dog? No judgement – my life has been dog-filled for as long as I can remember. The family dog was a mixed breed cutie, my dream dog was a Siberian Husky, and I got my first one when I was 20. I haven’t been without a Siberian since, and most of the time I’ve had more than one. My current Siberian is Kacey, and her canine housemate is Archie the Standard Poodle. I can’t imagine life without a dog – if that sounds like you, too, then we’re already friends, whether we’ve met or not.

Dogs are a wonderful example of being in the moment. They are keen observers of “right now” though their main way of examining the world is with their nose, not their eyes. They’re also keen observers of us – think about the things you do often in your day. Chances are your dog knows what’s about to happen based on your routine. For instance, when I’m putting on makeup in the morning, it’s in the same order – lipstick, eyebrows, cheeks, eyes, last pass with lipstick. As ...

Two hundred thirty seven years ago, in a document with forty-five hundred words, thirty-nine men took their lives in their hands, put quill pen to parchment paper, and defined a new way to look at governance. Today is Constitution Day, a celebration of the definition of the United States. For eleven years, men whose very lives were at stake because of their leadership in the American revolution, wrestled, argued, wheedled, cajoled, bargained, and finally committed to paper the definition of their new government.

It's a good thing political ads hadn’t been invented yet, right?

As Americans slog through another season of divisiveness and blatantly misleading advertisements, lets take a moment to remember what brings us together. At the dawning of America there was a desire for freedom from a monarchy that simply wanted tribute and control. There was a desire for shared risk balanced with autonomy. There was a feeling that something new and wonderful was possible, and that a new day was...

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I don’t want to overwhelm you with this, but do you feel overwhelmed a lot? If I gave you an exhaustive list of what creates feelings of overwhelm in people, just reading the list could overwhelm you!

So…let’s not do that, shall we?

Feeling overwhelmed is very common. Each day brings with it a new set of potentially adverse events, missed timings, and piling on of responsibilities and tasks that anyone is at risk of overwhelm several times in the day. Everyone, especially those with anxiety or depression, can take a deep emotional dive when overwhelm hits.

Does it help you, even just a little bit, to know that it’s common, human, and normal to feel overwhelmed? Would it help you, even just a little bit, to know what’s happening in your brain that makes you feel so stuck? Because you’re not stuck, your brain is just blind to the possibilities at hand that can help tame the overwhelming feelings.

First, the amygdala fires up the “fight or flight” physiology, mea...

Did you feel like I felt Saturday night – horrified, confused, uncertain, and helpless? No matter what your politics are, you have a heart that beats in your chest, you have family members you love and would do anything to keep safe, and if circumstances had been different, those killed and injured could have been your loved ones.

For all of us who feel unsteady in the wake of the violence, this issue of the newsletter has tools you can use to create a calmer inner atmosphere for yourself.

Arguably the worst part about being a bystander to a tragedy is the feeling of helplessness. In the absence of anything concrete to do, people tune in to news outlets and take to social media, airing their feelings, their theories, and finding supporters and detractors. We want to do something, yet everything feels random and uncontrollable.

Brains are interesting things – part of how we learn so rapidly as children is that the brain recognizes and stores patterns. As we have more experiences, the...