You are a loving, caring person. You fiercely protect those in your inner circle – family, close friends – and you’re there when they need you. Maybe you even relish the challenge of being the knight in shining armor for others. You see an underdog and your heart swells as you think of ways you can help them make their life better.

There is nothing wrong with that. Those are admirable qualities that I hope your inner circle appreciates in you.

The trouble starts when you go from helping and protecting to orchestrating. Repeat after me – “it’s not my job to save anyone.”

It’s not your job to save someone, no matter how much you love them and want them to have a great life. It’s not your job to pave the way for them, no matter how much you love them. It’s your job to love them and emotionally support them while they learn to help and protect themselves.

As we go through life, we learn what it means to stand up for ourselves – but only if we learn that it’s our job to stand up for ourselves. If you’re everyone’s crutches, they never learn to stand on their own two feet, and you get nothing but used and exhausted.

Help. Protect. Don’t orchestrate.

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