Do you know someone who like to talk about their problems…a lot? They love to tell the story of what happened, painting themselves in the best light while bemoaning the petty behavior of others? After they’ve told you about the newest unfair chapter in their life, do you hear them down the hall, telling the same story to others?

Here’s what you need to know about people like that: they’re not seeking solutions, they’re seeking attention.

They collect stories of pain, disrespect, and heartache and look for conversational cues that allow them to share. Often, they share even without any prompting from others.

This is attention-seeking behavior, and you should treat it accordingly. If you want to give your undivided attention to someone who tells you their woes, encourage their behavior by being a sympathetic ear. If you’d rather have conversations that solve problems and uplift the people in them, discourage their behavior by always being in a hurry when you see them coming.

People are allowed to wallow in their problems – you don’t have to wallow there with them.

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