Is someone on your team a bit…difficult? Defensive? Withdrawn? Uncommunicative? Is this new behavior or something that’s been there all along, and now it’s bothering you?

If it’s new behavior, chances are that something is going on in their life that they’re not processing well. Help them – offer to listen, and then listen. Resist the urge to talk – let them unfold their problem to you without interrupting or trying to offer suggestions.

The less you talk, the more they’ll feel heard, and the more willing they’ll be to change the way they’re behaving at work.

If their difficult behavior has been there for as long as you’ve worked with them, it’s up to you to find a way to mentally let go of it. Go to MSU – when they’re defensive, make up a story in your head that they were raised by wolves and can’t behave in a civilized fashion. Make yourself laugh with your Making Stuff Up stories inside your head and soon you won’t even remember why you didn’t want to be around them.

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