Pay attention to the words you say and the tone of voice you use when saying them. Who is coming out of your mouth?

A dear friend occasionally says something to me that feels very judgmental and sharp. For instance, I’m old enough to be growing a random hair on my neck now and then and apparently had one. My friend said, “what is that growing out of your throat” like it was an indictment of my soul.

Ouch.

Later, when my wounded feelings weren’t in charge, I asked her who used that tone of voice with her. Yep…her mother. It was an eye-opening experience for her and a learning experience for me. Now, when her mother’s words and tone accidentally slip out and are pointed at me, I understand that it’s not meant to hurt me. And because my friend is aware of it, her mother’s words and tone are slipping out of her lips less and less these days.

So, who’s words and tone come out of your mouth without you being aware of it? Once you recognize that it’s not yours, it becomes easier to let you and your caring heart come out instead. 

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