Hero, Villain, or Something In Between?

She is revered. She is vilified. She is someone that most of us took for granted, not realizing that she was a person with a life, hopes, and dreams before us, and plans for her own life that didn’t necessarily include us. She is Mother and this Sunday is her day.

Relationships are difficult at times, and many people have difficulties putting their “Mom relationship” into perspective. For those of us whose moms are no longer alive in a physical body, this week can be tough, and for those who resent or even hate their moms, this week can be even harder in many ways. All that serves to make this week before Mother’s Day a challenging one for many of us to find emotional peace and balance. It can be done, though – the same tools that help you put other things into perspective work for this, too.

Neuroplasticity came into being as a field of study when doctors watched patients re-acquire skills lost after a stroke. Researchers studied the process our brains use to re-learn those skills and discovered it works as well for attitudes and beliefs as it does for motor skills. As imaging of the brain becomes more advanced, so does the understanding of how we, with consistency and purpose, can change long-held beliefs to create more mental wellbeing and balance.

The tools for making changes are simple but not easy and are with you all the time. The reason for the “not easy” part is that you’ll be consciously changing your thought patterns and consistency, which can be difficult, is the key. Brains like the status quo, so you’ll need to be diligent about observing what your brain is thinking and either change the subject or reframe the memory. The in-person workshops and online courses available through the Center for Workplace Happiness are deep dives into the tools, and the Wellbeing Wisdom Tiny Bites podcast is a daily quick hit on a wellbeing topic. Got 90 seconds? Then you have time to tune up your neuroplasticity skills, and here are three Mom-related episodes:

• Need a quick way to shift your mood? There’s a Tiny Bite for that!
• Want to be kinder and gentler than your mom? There’s a Tiny Bite for that!
• Need a better mother? There’s a Tiny Bite for that!

Whether you love your mother or resent her, whether she is still a physical being or lives only in your memories now, whether you had a mother who loved to teach you or one who loved to berate you, she was your avenue into the life you now have. If the only good thing you can say about her is that her body cared for yours for nine months, that’s still a huge gift she gave to you. This Sunday, whether you’re with your mom or not, give yourself the gift of forgiving her for being human.

Wags,
Sandy Weaver
Program Director, Center for Workplace Happiness

PS – Sandy’s first book is an award-winning memoir that shares her own mother’s wisdom. The Original MBA – Succeed in Business Using Mom’s Best Advice is full of stories that inspire as they entertain, and it’s available on Amazon.