Bad Betrayals, Better Betrayals, and Learning Opportunities - Wellbeing Wisdom Tiny Bites Podcast
Have you ever been betrayed by someone you sort of knew? It didn’t feel good, did it?
Have you ever been betrayed by someone you knew well and trusted? Chances are, that hurt a lot worse.
Know why? Because you had few expectations of the person you only sort of knew, and many many many expectations of the person you knew well and trusted.
It’s not the betrayal that hurts so much, it’s the expectations we have about the person who betrayed us. When you can internalize this, you have the power to take the hurt away. How? By lowering your own expectations.
First, analyze those expectations – were they even fair in the first place? If someone you trusted told your secret, then maybe your trust and expectations were misplaced from the start. Or maybe you can look at their betrayal as them trying to help you – perhaps the motives were good, so can you assume they were, instead of assuming your friend stabbed you in the back?
Which feels better? How do you want to feel about that person?
Find a way to manage your own expectations and find the best reason for the betrayal. Voila! The pain of betrayal has been lowered or maybe even banished!
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