Are you good at standing up for yourself? Many of us aren’t comfortable in what feels like a confrontation so we walk away from some interactions wishing we’d stood up for ourselves or our point of view more strongly.

Does that sound like you, too? The more life I’ve lived, the more I realize it’s not what we say out loud in those situations, it’s how we feel about ourselves that impacts how we feel about the situation.

When you walk away feeling somehow “less than” or “not enough” for the other person, that’s not a “them” problem, that’s a “you” problem. They didn’t make you feel bad, though it often seems like they did it. Maybe they said something you believe is true about yourself and wish others didn’t see it, or maybe they said something completely wrong about you.

Defending yourself to the other person isn’t necessary and usually isn’t productive. Saying something like, “that’s an interesting point of view” doesn’t validate or negate what they’ve said, it just says you heard them and allows you to leave the conversation feeling stronger, not weaker.

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